Bothersome Buffets

If you're a vegetarian you're probably aware that when it comes to meetings with a lunch included they will probably ask if there are any 'specific' requirements. This is in fact code for, we're going to provide chicken and/or ham sandwiches if you’re a ‘freaky vegetarian’ you better tell us know so we can throw a bit of mousetrap cheddar on a bit of white bread for you. The other reason for this is so that they can work out what ‘percentage’ of food should be vegetarian.

Some of you are now either rolling your eyes and saying “whinging vegetarian” or rolling your eyes and saying “tell me about it”.

But what usually happens in this all too common scenario? 

You’re in the meeting and you catch sight of the lunch arriving in an adjacent room, it’s wrapped in plastic film and usually on a trolley. You or one of your fellow vegetarians now has to take control of the situation. Why? I hear you say. Because if one of them (the meat eaters) gets hold of the job of unwrapping the buffet you can guarantee that the carefully placed labels delineating the vegetarian option will disappear leaving you with sandwich or even samosa roulette.

The next thing to do is listen out for the meat eater’s battle cry of “this all looks very good”, this is where they see the insipid chicken and decide how fabulous the veggie option looks. The “this all looks very good” exclamation is their notification that they are going to get to the buffet before you and grab as many veggie options as they can.  I refer you back to paragraph one. The person ordering the food as worked out that in a meeting of twenty, four are vegetarian. They have specified to the caterers “20%” vegetarian, this will inevitably lead to only 1 in 5 sandwiches being provided. If you are half way down the queue for the sandwiches and the meat option looks a little dull, you could be in for a hungry day.

What’s the solution? 

At my last meeting, with colleagues from JISC InfoNet, they provided a sumptuous, but simple buffet. Even though there were only 4 vegetarians it looked as though the 20% rule was applied to the meat. Did the meat eaters whinge? No, because they all eat veggie food anyway. Talking to a couple of colleagues at the meeting who are not vegetarian they told me that if they have meetings they often ask for 100% vegetarian because it is usually better quality and no one ever complains.

ParmesanGate! Doesn't turn out the way you think...

Yet another blog project started, this time inspired by my Higher Education Academy conference attendance at East Midlands Conference Centre on the 5th and 6th July 2011. Now please don't think that because I'm starting out with a moan that this is going to be a series of posts about the pains and protestations of vegetarians, it is also my intention to give praise, when it is of course earned.
So what is the pain that I am sharing with this post?

Parmesan Cheese: Most self respecting vegetarians will tell you that parmesan isn't veggie. Why? Because it contains calf rennet, how and why they use it can be found in the Wikipedia article I linked to. Let's just say that your run of the mill off the shelf parmesan (or any expensive alternatives that wouldn't be found in a mass catering unit of a university)  won't be suitable for consumption by veggies. 

So, what happened on the 6th July 2011, during what we shall forevermore think of as 'ParmesanGate'. 

I was queuing for lunch, it was day 2 of the conference, the dinner the night before was standard conference fayre, a mostly harmless mushroom lasagne. I just caught sight of the menu, propped proudly on the counter, there was a meat dish, fish dish and "roasted vegetable Gnocci, topped with parmesan". Where's the veggie dish I thought to myself. 

"Excuse me, is there a vegetarian option" I said this, knowing full well the answer.
"it's the Gnocci" was the bright and cheerful reply.
"ah, Parmesan isn't vegetarian"
"it's cheese"
"it contains an extract from the stomach of a calf"

A whispered conversation between person serving and a supervisor. 

The supervisor comes toward me with a big smile and nodding "it's cheese" 

I explain the issue. 

"I'll go and check with the chef" 

Five minutes later he was back, carrying a big catering pack of grated cheese (cheddar), "he just puts this on it!" and on the side, in bold letters, Suitable for Vegetarians. 
"that's great, thank you for checking, I appreciate your help"

So in the end I was very happy, and as a gnocchi 'bake' it was the best meal of the conference. But I'm not so sure that the organisers would be that pleased that the expensive sounding meal was reduced to gnocchi with generic cheap cheddar topping.